Hark! The Harold Angels Sing

Just one crafty caroller short of a rousing rendition of "I Saw Three Shipmans"

At the Despatch Box

Let's entrust our NHS to a man with real, hands-on experience of healthcare and pensions.

In a suburban semi

"I'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog, too."

On a wedding dancefloor

He always likes to unwind with a few Golden Oldies.

Enjoying a day out at Lord's

Getting a paunch on, by the looks of things, and settling in for a long innings. Who says crime doesn't pay?

At the tennis with Primrose

"Who do you have to kill around here to get a jug of Pimm's?"

Up to his old tricks

This old dear's forgotten the first rule of road safety - look left and right before opening your building society booklet.

At the Leveson Enquiry

Consistent with his views on the medical sector, he is understood to favour a 'light touch' approach to regulation.

Piling on the pounds

Only the British Carvery or a British Burger will do for Great Britain's gold medallist of death

In the Royal Box

Heads are going to roll about this one. He's moved straight in on that old lady.

At the tennis

On a date at Wimbledon with some unsuspecting old dear (and of course he's chosen to watch the ladies).

In Tesco's

A great place to pick up ladies of a certain age

The doctor will see you now

Excellent spot by this eagle-eyed reader from Scotland. Sadly it looks like his number's up - he's been clocked.